50 Best Portraits

Apr 21

I have been a photographer by means of picking up a camera since October of 2018. I have gone through many emotions throughout my photography / entrepreneurial journey. It has made me confront what I have pushed aside for so long, and through this journey, I have gained myself in the sense that I have become capable of expressing myself and no longer feel the need to hide what makes me whole.

Before this life I was a welder. From 20 to 25 I worked my ass off going through school and working to become a success in that career. Obtained many certifications and found what was said to be my “dream job”, and that when I thought I would have obtained it, it would grant me happiness. Good money, safety, and isolation. A place where I can have my silence and work away till I die, living a comfortable life.

It’s quite strange to me now, how hard I worked for a life that made me not even want to live. When I landed my dream job, I think reality sunk in that, that job for me was the big finale. There was no where left to go. Meanwhile reading books on success / entrepreneurialism, I craved more. I wanted to grow, I wanted to express myself, I didn’t want to have a “limit”. Seeing co-workers around me who were 60+ and working the same job as me with only a little bit more pay and working a ridiculous amount of overtime because they felt pressured to or their lives weren’t good enough to where they didn’t wanna go home or they just wanted more money. It sunk in how sad my life would be if I stayed. In this place I kept feeling like “My soul was dying.”

I was determined in my silence and isolation however to find a better life. On many days of hard work on self development came a fateful day that I would read a passage that would explain how to tap into “infinite intelligence”. A power that basically means trusting in the universe and letting your ideas go out into it and believing the answer will eventually come to you (From the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill if you’re interested). I was at one of my favorite places Descanco Gardens and I thought about what I really wanted to do in life. Something that would make me full, complete, fulfilled, fully expressed, something that utilized all my experiences and catered to my personal traits that I’m good at or loved, or more importantly wanted to be good at and love.

That night I was sitting on the toilet where all great ideas come from, just letting my brain rest. And like magic it felt like I was Neo tapping into the matrix for the first time and everything at once made sense and I said out loud “Photography!”. I finally realized and said out loud “this is something I can do!”. A statement that doesn’t hold much meaning or power without context. However the significance behind this was that for the last 8+ months of reading books which I almost never did in my life and especially ones on self-help and success. I through reading and practice, actually became ready to accept such a thing in my life. I became capable to accept such an idea that it would even be possible! And with all the reading I did and also being a person who typically goes all in on something, I laid down my conviction that I was going to make it happen even if it means death. Because to me, I was already dead. And going back to a lifestyle that I have been living, is not a life worth lived. And having the lifestyle I wanted was something to live for. And I would never let myself not go for what I wanted and settle for what I don’t want. And with that conviction and that drive, no matter where I am in life, I would always be happy. Because I would be making my own path, making my own decisions, being fully expressed and limitless within my potential and growth. A forever source of happiness that doesn’t require anything other than my persistence to move towards it. I was now in control of my own happiness.

After that thought in the bathroom I bought a camera that night online and when the camera came in, it was a non stop pursuit of trying to make the lifestyle I wanted possible. It’s crazy to think back and what I went through to get to where I am. The non stop videos and practicing. The routine of waking up to reading, working out, going to work, coming back to practice self portraits to learn lighting till 4 am, being dead tired and then going to bed and waking up to repeat the process. Finding people to practice with on the weekend, editing photos till 4 am, using my computer at work that was meant to work to study lighting instead (I was obsessed). Taking up a second job as a fitness instructor because I needed to learn how to talk to people because I spent so much time isolated and away from others I forgot how to function in society. Quiting my main job 3 months into it because I couldn’t take the thought of me wasting a single second not going towards my ambitions and life goals and then putting myself into massive debt to buy equipment while not having any prospects or even knowing how to make money with photography. I mean the business side of things is a whole other journey!

While scraping by through my fitness job and side gigs from photography for about a year, eventually covid hit. A blessing in disguise for me personally because I was so exhausted and felt like a hamster running on the wheel getting no where but more tired. It was around that time I discovered Sue Bryce my photography and business mentor that actually taught me the most important part that most photographers don’t understand they need, business. You know, the thing that allows you to do photography fulltime and if you don’t know how to do that you have to work another job to make ends meet that isn’t what you love to do being photography…

She being the powerhouse that she’s and being in the photography business for 27+ years, she knew exactly what it took to be an success and the internal battle that you need to go through in order to take responsibility in owning your business and self. The business and the marketing, and the selling, all that stuff is important. But what really makes me love her from the bottom of my heart, is her work on “self value”. An integral part of not only business, but an integral part of living a wonderful life. So much aches and pains you face when watching her content. But when you do the work, you come out on top and feel so empowered and valuable to this world, you can’t help but exude and attract success.

And so here I am. Through the covid journey I have pushed myself constantly, went through many scares and depressions, been on an absolute roller coaster ride that has allowed me to experience so many great things that I wouldn’t take back for anything. And regardless of the hard times, they’re my hard times that I get to call my own. No one runs my life but me and that is an absolutely beautiful thing. And the people I’ve been able to meet from this journey. Oh my goodness i’m so grateful for each and everyone of you that has entered my life and allowed me to connect with you. Connection being one of the massive reasons I wanted to do photography among other things, ya’ll don’t even know how much you mean to me.

From all my clients who love my work and support me, all the photographers that I’ve connected with and received knowledge from, the friends that I’ve made along the way, all the people who message me and send me love, those who write their comments on my pages to show you care, and a massive thank you to anyone who has trusted me to photograph them. To step infront of my camera and to have been so vulnerable, and so kind to have been yourselves and share you story with me, to have given me trust to take care of you in such a state. It is such a blessing that ya’ll let me be in a position to take the wheel and allow me to move you. To allow me to motivate, to talk to, to inspire, to change perspective, to laugh with, to have fun with, to allow me to give you something I believe to be extremely special. A memory of all that and who you’re with a badass image of you to boot. And it’s a blessing to learn from you! I’m so genuine and straight forward that in my sessions I sometimes break down and let you guys know i’m going through some shit, and you motivate me and get me going!

Ya’ll literally allow me to capture your lifes legacy. And I can’t tell you how big of an honor that is. It’s such a wonderful thing that ya’ll allow me to do that for you. So thank you. Which brings me to why I created this post in the first place. Over these years i’ve learned how important it is to capture your legacy but also to be seen in a different light. To capture the different sides of you. Humans are made up of all emotions, positive and negative. All important to acknowledge and to give space to be as they’re all an integral part of who you’re and irrevocably(always wanted to use this word) what makes you human.

So since my photography journey started I have made it part of my life to either photograph myself or to get photographed by other incredible and talented humans. I have compiled a list of portraits that are my top 50 portraits either because I like the way I look, or because the image has a powerful meaning behind it. Either or, I love them all so much and they’re my prized possessions in life and are my legacy. Please enjoy each portrait and if you really wanna enjoy them, take time to look at each one and gather the feeling that comes with it and put in your own story to it. That’s a joy of a portrait that most don’t get because of how fast we consume content. In this world of scrolling through, you miss a part of life that allows you to feel. Patience is a virtue that unlocks a certain life and feelings that you only get if you take your time. So explore these images and then take that same philosophy / practice to explore the things around you in your life and take the time to appreciate them to enrich your own life in the process. Or don’t. Do whatever the hell you want in the end :)

Photographers who took part in these photos in no particular order:

Myself

Aaron Jay Young

Pratik Naik

Jonny Edward

Wenqin Ni

Nate Napolitano

Elliott O’Donovan

Lindsey Hinderer

Nicholas Freeman

Susan Rockstraw

Corey DeLeon